


Birds of a Feather

by loopyhoopyfrood



Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: Don't Believe the Rumours, Jewel Thief AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 20:27:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12218328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loopyhoopyfrood/pseuds/loopyhoopyfrood
Summary: Detective Inspector Jack Robinson comes face-to-face with the infamous jewel thief known as Miss Magpie.





	Birds of a Feather

**Author's Note:**

> My (actually on time!) submission for the September prompt. I did intend to delve deeper into the actual 'gossip and rumours' aspect of this fic, but apparently the story had other ideas.  
> Enjoy.

“Turn around slowly and put your hands in the air.”

Miss Magpie paused in her perusal of the jewellery box, but otherwise remained still. The sound of a gun’s safety being released echoed through the room.

“I don’t suppose I can convince you that there’s an entirely innocent explanation for all this?”

“I’m afraid not. Now turn around. Slowly.”

Miss Magpie raised her gloved hands, discretely allowing the jewels she’d been holding to slip down her sleeve as she turned to face the man who had interrupted her latest heist.

“I suppose this is the part where I say it isn’t what it looks like?”

“I doubt even you could talk your way out of this one.”

“My reputation precedes me, I see.” She stuck out her hand, encased in a black glove. “Miss Magpie, and you are…?”

“Detective Inspector Jack Robinson, City South Police.” Jack, unsurprisingly, didn’t take the offered handshake.

“Am I under arrest, _inspector _?” Miss Magpie took a step forward, her black trousers rippling as her hips swayed, her red lips pursing in the way she knew sent men to their knees. Jack’s blank expression didn’t so much as flicker.__

__“Place the jewellery on the table.” He ordered, ignoring her question, the gun in his hand moving to point briefly at small side table before coming back to her._ _

__“And if I don’t?”_ _

__“Then that would be disobeying a police detective, and I would be fully authorised to shoot you.”_ _

__The jewel thief pouted, but began to empty her pockets of her haul, quickly creating a small mound of bracelets, necklaces, brooches and earrings on the indicated surface. The loss was a shame, some of those pieces were worth an amount most people wouldn’t earn in a year, but despite what everyone seemed to think, the woman known as ‘Miss Magpie’ wasn’t in it for the money. It was the challenge that called her, the thrill of knowing she’d gotten away with it, and one botched job wasn’t the end of the world. New targets were easily found, and even if a policeman was currently pointing a gun at her, well. It wasn’t the first time._ _

__“Over there.”_ _

__Miss Magpie did as she was told, keeping one eye on the gun as she walked over to the wall. The inspector mirrored her, the two of them following the outline of some invisible circle until they’d swapped places. There were a few seconds of motionless standstill before Jack suddenly strode forwards, capturing the thief’s arm in a strong grip. There was a clink of metal against metal, and Jack stepped back, his quarry finding herself securely handcuffed to a cold radiator. Amused, Miss Magpie simply leant back against the wall, looking for all the world like it had been her choice to position herself there, and watched curiously as Jack began to fill his pockets with her haul._ _

__“I thought the police were supposed to use evidence bags, inspector. Wouldn’t want to ruin any of my fingerprints now, would you?”_ _

__The inspector looked up at her, and to her surprise a small hint of a smile graced his so far emotionless face. He continued to fill his pockets, but his voice held a touch of smugness as he answered her._ _

__“Well versed in police procedure, are you?”_ _

__“I considered enrolling, but the uniform was hardly flattering.”_ _

__Miss Magpie was pleased to notice a brief flicker of amusement grace the inspector’s face at her quip. Encouraged, she pressed on._ _

__“The nature of my job-”_ _

__Jack, still filling his pockets, rolled his eyes._ _

__“-does require some familiarity with our charming constabulary. Consequently, I am well aware than any lawyer I so happen to enlist the services of would be very intrigued to know why the proposed evidence against me was delivered to the station in the detective inspector’s pockets, rather than the standard issue brown envelopes?”_ _

__“You’re assuming that these jewels are going to the station.”_ _

__“Isn’t that usually how crimes are solved, inspector?”_ _

__Jack paused, turning to face her, and Miss Magpie found herself surprised by the glint of amusement in his eyes._ _

__“Who said I want this crime to be solved?”_ _

__“I’d have thought solving crimes was part of your job description.”_ _

__“That would depend on which of my ‘jobs’ you’re referring to.”_ _

__Miss Magpie was used to being in control. She knew how to read people, how to manipulate them to get what she wanted. She was confident, beautiful, and usually the smartest person in the room. Right now, however, she felt like an idiot._ _

__“You’re the Cuckoo.” She breathed, everything suddenly and horrifyingly falling into place. Jack simply raised an eyebrow._ _

__“Impressive. Most people take far longer to figure it out.”_ _

__“I’m not most people.”_ _

__“Clearly.” Jack looked over at her, and Miss Magpie found herself wondering what exactly he meant by that. “I assume you’ve heard of me.”_ _

__“Mere rumourings and gossip.” She shrugged, attempting to outwardly appear her usual, confident self. Inwardly, however, she found herself worrying over exactly what she’d gotten herself into._ _

__“Indulge me?” Jack shrugged, stowing the last of her spoils, an elaborately embellished watch, in the inside pocket of his jacket. “And I’ll take those jewels you’ve hidden up your sleeves whilst you’re at it.”_ _

__“I don’t know what you mean.”_ _

__“Don’t do yourself a disservice, _Miss Magpie _.”___ _

____“Oh very well.” With a wriggle of her fingers, Miss Magpie swiftly untied the strings holding the cuffs of her sleeves closed, allowing the collection of necklaces and brooches to slip out onto the floor._ _ _ _

____“Oops.”_ _ _ _

____Jack shot her a look that told her he didn’t believe her clumsiness for one second, but nevertheless bent down to pick the fallen jewels. As soon as he glanced down she struck, kicking out with a sharp heel, but to her surprise her foot met nothing but air, and she stumbled. Regaining her balance, she looked around to find Jack stood, having ducked to one side out of her way, the last of her spoils vanished into his pockets._ _ _ _

____“You’re getting predictable.”_ _ _ _

____“Well I do apologise.” She snapped, unwittingly betraying her frustration. She’d heard of the Cuckoo, both from the gossip of her public social circle and the rumourings of her more private one. Anyone who was anyone in her profession knew to take precautions, too many thieves had recently found themselves relieved of their haul by the man who let others do all the hard work for him. She’d laughed at the warnings, admiring him in a way, but considering herself too smart to be caught in his trap. In a way she’d though him a coward, too afraid to strike out on his own. She wasn’t accustomed to learning she was wrong._ _ _ _

____“You do realise that if you arrest me I’ll take you down with me.”_ _ _ _

____At her last-ditch attempt to gain some sort of control over the situation the Cuckoo laughed – actually laughed! – and Miss Magpie was suddenly struck with the sensation that despite her knowledge of the infamous thief, she perhaps wasn’t holding as many cards as she thought._ _ _ _

____“I hardly believe that the commissioner will believe the word of the infamous Miss Magpie over that of a Detective Inspector.” He said, the corner of his mouth quirked upwards in what could almost be considered a smile. “Especially when said inspector happens to be his son-in-law.”_ _ _ _

____Son-in-law? Miss Magpie let out a laugh of surprise, suddenly full of a new-found respect for her opponent._ _ _ _

____“Well played _inspector _.”___ _ _ _

______“I like to think so.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______His expression didn’t give much away, but Miss Magpie knew without a doubt that this was what he was most proud of. Not the stealing, not the besting of other thieves, but the fact that the country’s most notorious jewel thief was operating right under the commissioner’s nose._ _ _ _ _ _

______“May I inquire as to how that gem of information has managed to avoid the rumour mill?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“The usual way.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Miss Magpie tensed as Jack took a step towards her, but his movements were unthreatening, and he came to a stop an arm’s length from where she stood._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Bribery.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Carefully, Jack reached out, and his fingers were steady as he affixed a sparkling object to her lapels._ _ _ _ _ _

______“A present.” he said, “For building my nest.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Jack took a step back, admiring his handiwork. As he looked up Miss Magpie caught his eye, and both recognised the mutual respect that hung between them. With a brief nod he was gone, vanishing out the door without a word of goodbye, leaving only an empty table where the pile of jewellery had once sat._ _ _ _ _ _

______Smiling despite herself, Phryne Fisher carefully unpinned the swallow-shaped brooch, and began to unpick the inspector’s handcuffs._ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone didn't get the reference, cuckoos lay their eggs in the nests of other birds, allowing them to do all the hard work of building the nest and raising the baby birds. I thought it was appropriate for a jewel thief who let others do all the hard work of actually breaking in, only to swoop in and reap the benefits.
> 
> Also, I think this fic may have been subconsciously inspired by two wonderful fics; 'fighting vainly the old ennui' by Fahye and a Doctor Who fic that I cannot for the life of me find again. (I'll update this note if I come across it.) I just want to give huge kudos to those authors for the subconscious inspiration.


End file.
